MONKEY BUSINESS SWINGING THROUGH THE WALL STREET JUNGLE PDF
on e • USlness Swinging Through the Wall Street Jungle John Rolfe and Peter Troob ERBOOKS A Time Warner Company When we started writing this book. PDF Download Monkey Business: Swinging Through the Wall Street Jungle BY - John Rolfe Read Online. 1. PDF Download Monkey Business. resourceone.info Download PDF Monkey Business: Swinging Through the Wall Street Jungle, PDF.
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Free Monkey Business Swinging Through the Wall Street Jungle They're investment bankers: They're rich. They're glamorous. They're movers. They're shakers. Editorial Reviews. From Publishers Weekly. As eager-beaver business school students, Rolfe and Troob garnered job offers as junior associates at the elite Wall. Meet John and Peter, two young business school graduates about to become frustrated foot Rolfe J., Troob P. Monkey Business: Swinging Through the Wall Street Jungle. Файл формата pdf; размером ,80 МБ Monkey business pulls off Wall Street's suspenders and gives the reader the inside skinny on real life at.
We a l l knew how the su mmer job was supposed to be handfu l of more sen ior bankers, came through to greet us. They m ad e s u re that we u nderstood j u st what it meant played. It was a game of surviva l. We' d l oathe o u rse l ves for be i ng s n i ve l i n g l ittl e ass-kiss i n g s u m mer bankers, but i f w e wanted to get the fu l l -time offer, then we had to play the game.
So, our su mmer was fu l l of carrying pitch books, run n i ng m odel s, faking s m i l es, l ate n ights, and self-degrad i ng ass k i ss i ng. We were the butt boys and i ndentured servants for a generation of sen ior bankers. We'd be fucked. The p roblem was that our des i re was no secret, and every banker i n the j o i nt was p repared to ful ly exploit it. The best of them wou l d dangle that golden carrot out in front as they cracked the wh i p beh i nd, exhorting us to push j u st a l ittle harder.
As members of a s u mmer assoc iate class, we were s u p posed to be there to s u p port each other.
We were a l l i n i t together, after al l. B ut at the end of every day, none of us " knew exactl y how many fu l l -ti me offers woul d be made that com i ng fal l.
If o n l y six fu l l -time positions were associate class, then why the hel l wou ld we want to help each other out in a bind? Some other assoc iate's offer cou ld wel l be the one that we didn 't get.
So as we sat around the table at orientation that morn ing, eyeing each other warily, j u st the s l ightest h i nt of distrust hung i n the air. By the end of the orientation the secrets regard ing how to l ive the good l ife at the fi rm's expense had been laid bare.
The Bullp en Fol lowing ou r breakfast meeting we were l ed to our new offices. The sum mer assoc iate offices were in an internal area of the bank known only as the B u l l pen.
N atu ra l l y, the g reener the b a n ker the h a rder he worked, which meant that the B u l l pen h u m med around the clock days a year. L i ke the hold of a s lave s h i p, it was i n the m i ddl e of the bui lding tucked away i n a n area where visitors to the D LJ offices wou ld never see it.
It housed eleven offices, five s i ngles and s ix doubles, which surro u n ded a s izabl e common area. The carpeting was dingy, the wal l s fi lthy.
W hoever it was shou l d have known better. Each associate, i n h i s o r her w i ndowless office, had a standard-issue steel desk, fi l i ng cabi net, and adj ustable chai r.
The desks and fi l i n g cabi n ets looked l i ke they'd been carted off a NATO base. The chai rs were s l ightly more u p-to-date, a necessity given that we'd be spending the m ajority of both o u r waking and sleep ing hou rs i n them over the com ing months.
A l l this fu rn iture sat on a worn carpet. The wa l ls were scuffed with n u merous heel marks, and the fl uorescent l ights h u mmed constantly l i ke a set of h igh-voltage electric w i res. B y the time we moved once again j ust as it always had-a tangled mass of pitch books, financial fi l i ngs, and research reports.
No personal effects.
Monkey business : swinging through the Wall Street jungle
No pictu res of loved ones. D LJ was our fam i ly now, and there cou ld be no competing loyalties. The B u l l pen stood in stark contrast to the majority of the D LJ office space. N ot the B u l l pen, though.
The Bu l l pen was a l l about busi ness, which was befitti ng for a p l ace where m ost of the rea l work got done. Wh i l e the B u l l pen's general atmosphere was in large part set by the wretched physical conditions there i n , of equal i m portance i n determin ing the ambience was the general stress l evel of its you ng bankers. At any given moment, staccato expletives cou l d be heard eru pti ng from m u ltiple B u l l pen offices : "fucko," "sh it," "asshole," IIdick," "douchebag.
On o u r fi rst day as s u m me r assoc iates, though, we didn't know any of this.
Monkey Business: Swinging Through the Wall Street Jungle
As o n e of o u r c lassmates, Enrico de la Hernandez Franca-a Peruvian by bi rth-would l ater put it: "Jewels, each of them in the i r own way. It's impe rative least one member of the su mmer associate class wou l d be encou raged to put the wood to a t least o n e of t h e BAs over the course of the summer. We congregated aro u n d the center of the B u l l pen, maki ng smal l tal k and wondering when we were going to start doi ng dea l s. Never m i nd that most of u s had no idea what doing a deal enta i l ed.
We knew that we were there to do deals, that we weren't doi ng them presently, and that I h ave a taste. For the du ration of the summer, their offices wou ld be i n the B u l l pen with o u rs. That day, they gave us some sage advice : " Don't worry, They were our banking assistants, "BAs" for short, and they were there to h e l p and gu ide u s.
They answered phones, did g raph ics work, prepared docu ments, made travel arrangements, and did database work. Thei r tasks were to ensure that we al l had good s ummer experiences and to shepherd us through the pol itical maze that was DLJ. Don't ever wish for more, because that nightmare w i l l i nevitably come true. If it's seven P. Go the fuck home. A second-year assoc iate wou l d l ater ing, and convi nce ou rselves that we, too, needed to be there doing someth i ng.
After several for. That bothered h i m. He began to worry that he was an u ntouchable. There were a couple of moments of s i l ence. Perentazz i, y o u o u t there?
G et i n here so that I can get you up to speed. I need you to be on a p l ane to Cleveland with in the n ext two h o u rs. H ig h yield? It all sounded so exciting. We cou ld see it, S l i c k had been staffed on a deal w ith in the fi rst cou p le of hou rs; it cou l d n 't be m uc h longer before the rest of us got staffed. Hel l , by the e n d of the first week we'd al l be doing deals j u st l i ke old-ti mers.
We cou ld hardly wait. Eagerness and Fear Rol fe and I knew that desi re alone, u nfortunately, didn't get anybody staffed on deals.
So we had to wait. I didn't understand how random the whole staffing process was. With each passing day, as my summer classmates gradually got staffed on deals and I didn't, my paranoia increased. I saw the summer passing before my eyes with nothing to show for it. When I finally got staffed, though, my demeanor would quickly change from concern that I'd never get a chance to prove myself to realization that I was incapable of proving anything.
If ignorance was bliss, my beatific aura should have rivaled that of a magic bus full of Moonies. The call, when it came, was from Wex. One of the financial sponsors we do work for is contemplating a buyout of a medical supply company.
They may want us to provide some high-yield financing for the transaction. We ' re gonna need a model, comps, the whole nine yards. Why don't you corrie grab it and take a look at it. A junk bond financing for a hostile takeover, I couldn' t have asked for anything better for my first deal. I knew nothing about the medical supply industry and had so much to learn.
Rolfe J., Troob P. Monkey Business: Swinging Through the Wall Street Jungle
Wex had merely supplied me with five hundred pages of documents so that nobody would accuse him of not having given me all the relevant material. He was covering his ass and it was up to me to determine what really mattered and what didn't. I'd made my way through about a hundred pages of the stack when Wex called back two hours later.
We need a leveraged buyout model by late this afternoon. We've got a meeting with Greg Weinstein at six o'clock. They don't call him the Widow for nothing, man.
You better get it together. This guy eats summer associates for breakfast. Who was this guy they were calling the Widow?
I'd built financial spreadsheets before in business school, but I'd spent days, not hours, on them. I thought briefly about buying a van, dropping a tab of acid, and heading out for Santa Cruz. You've got to re. I'll get Troob. He's an ex-analyst. He'll know how to build a model.
I didn ' t have to build the model. I'd been able to forestall inevitable failure.
I sat back in my chair and breathed a sigh of relief. Problem was, it slowly dawned on me, I didn't know what a transaction multiple was. There wasn't going to be any easy way out of this one, I' d have to suck i t up and confess my ignorance.
I called Wex back. There's a little bit of a problem here. I'm not sure that I know what a transaction multiple is. Can you give me some help? Call Troob and ask him to explain it to you, all right? Don' t forget, we have to meet on this at six tonight so you'd better get it together and figure this out. There was silence on the other end of the phone. This was a new one for him. He was also trying to secure a full-time offer, so why should he save my ass?
He came to my office and shook his head. Perhaps, in his mind, I was testing him, or more likely he worried that in some perverse way I could turn my idiocy against him like a weapon. Ignorance, after all, could be the most dangerous weapon of all. Troob knew the investment banking lingo. He tutored me like a third grader with flash cards, imparting his knowledge.
This is how you do it," he instructed. You just keep your mouth shut. Everything'll be OK. This deal's never gonna get off the ground, anyway. You can take a quick look-at the numbers and see that. I threw in a few random Comments, ones that I hoped wouldn't further betray my lack of investment banking knowledge. Troob had been right.
There was a consolation, though. I'd found a new friend in Troob. He' d saved me from the Widow's fatal clutches, and for that l owed him my life. H e owed m e one after that. H e was green, real l y green, but he was smart and he didn't have an attitude. No Downloads. Views Total views. Actions Shares. Embeds 0 No embeds.
No notes for slide. Swinging Through the Wall Street Jungle 2. Book Details Author: John Rolfe Pages: Grand Central Publishing Brand: English ISBN: Description They Hit "The Street.
Monkey Business pulls off Wall Street's suspenders and gives the reader the inside skinny on real life at an investment bank, where the promised land is always one more twenty-hour workday and another lap dance away. They had signed on as foot soldiers in a white-collar army of overworked and frustrated lemmings furiously trying to spin straw into gold.
They escaped with the remnants of their sanity-and, ultimately, this book. Uncensored, unsanitized, and uncut, it captures the chaotic essence of the Wall Street carnival and the outlandish personalities that make it all hum Are you sure you want to Yes No.
Be the first to like this. No Downloads. Views Total views. Actions Shares. Embeds 0 No embeds. No notes for slide. Book details Author: John Rolfe Pages: Grand Central Publishing Language: English ISBN Description this book They Hit "The Street.
Monkey Business pulls off Wall Street s suspenders and gives the reader the inside skinny on real life at an investment bank, where the promised land is always one more twenty-hour workday and another lap dance away. They had signed on as foot soldiers in a white-collar army of overworked and frustrated lemmings furiously trying to spin straw into gold.These were the guys who'd defIned Wall Street in the eighties, and they had a flair for the adventurous. If you open your book to page four, the table of contents, you can see what we've got lined up.
This was what I said that he had bought a house in the H a m ptons for had i magi ned bank i ng was a l l about.
N atu ra l l y, the g reener the b a n ker the h a rder he worked, which meant that the B u l l pen h u m med around the clock days a year. We both sti l l work i n the world of Wal l Street, and we'd be lying if we tol d you that money doesn't matter to us.
Wal l Street. There was Bubbles, 35, feet up in the air in an apoplectic rage. If I said the money, then I'd look l i ke a greedy l ittle bastard.
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