IELTS SAMPLE ESSAYS PDF
Jonathan's IELTS materials from resourceone.info / Call Jonathan at IELTS Writing Samples And Model Answers. Thank you for your. Sample IELTS essays, written by native English speakers. Band 9 IELTS Essay with Ex-IELTS Examiner Commentary PDF 30 Academic Task 1 Essays. A guide to writing high quality IELTS essays. Includes 40 sample essays with notes Australia and accordingly this book is not endorsed by IELTS Australia.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 2 Activity – teacher's notes. Description. An activity Students are then asked to write an essay and to analyse two sample scripts. Here you can find IELTS Essay samples of Band 8, written by students and graded by IELTS teacher. The topic of essay appears when you hold mouse over the. In the IELTS Writing Task 2 you have to write an essay of a minimum words. Looking at IELTS sample essays is an excellent way to learn how to improve.
Violent media, therefore, is popular because it allows people to vicariously experience a fantasized situation without harming themselves or others. In addition to this, violent media acts as an outlet for the natural aggression of human beings. For instance, most would agree that adolescents act more physically aggressive towards each other than any other age group. This aggression is usually thought to be a retained primitive instinct that predisposes adolescents to a natural degree of physical confrontation.
Thus, a likely argument for the popularity of violent media among adolescents is that it allows them to release this pent up hostility. After looking at the above, it is clear that there are multiple factors contributing to the widespread consumption of violent media. It is assumed that violent media will never be completely eradicated from a society.
Should young children be encouraged to follow a strict set of rules based on cultural tradition or should they be allowed to behave freely? Discuss both and share your opinion.
The level of freedom children are allotted varies from one culture to another. Among some, regimenting the behaviour of young children through strict traditional practice is thought to help them develop into skilled members of society. Others argue the removal of strict household regulations allows young people to develop a free, inquisitive and creative mind. Both points of view will be analyzed in this essay. In one camp, raising children using a strict set of rules based on tradition is felt best.
For instance, in Japanese society often young children are taught how to properly conduct themselves in all social situations, including the manner in which they address elders, give and receive gifts and ask for favours. As a result, Japanese society and the Japanese people are world renowned for their protocol, courtesy, attention to detail and charm.
As these are very positive qualities, it is clear that many benefits arise from the employment of a rigid parenting style. On the other hand, however, many feel providing young people with freedom fuels their appetite for creativity.
American society, for example, is often mocked for its somewhat lax parenting structure. Yet despite this, the United States was and continues to be home to the creation of some of the worlds most revolutionary products. Thus, it is clear that freer parenting models pose numerous benefits. After looking at both sides of this debate, it is felt that a balance between protocol and free parenting structures should be sought after by guardians in the twenty-first century.
This recipe is expected to become more prevalent in the years to come.
With the growing availability of TV and Internet, radios will soon become obsolete. Do you agree or disagree? The radio is an invention that came to popularity in the twentieth century. Its technology revolutionized the manner in which people communicated. It is felt that although widespread use of the traditional radio may diminish into the future, it is a device that will never disappear completely.
This will be shown by looking at trends in the growing car radio market and modern changes in the form of media that radios broadcast. Firstly, as growing global affluence spurs demand for cars, radio use will also grow. For example, the booming vehicle market in China is causing an equally significant boom in radio set use.
This is not a trend isolated to China; vehicle buyers everywhere are purchasing cars equipped with radio sets. Thus, this example clearly debunks the idea that radio use will be eradicated in the coming years.
In addition to this, changes to the content found on radio shows is creating new audiences and renewing the purpose of traditional radio sets. For instance, most Canadian radio stations today are live call-in shows. These sorts of shows have developed stable audiences over the last ten years, as this sort of entertainment is difficult to replicate using a television or the Internet. Thus, as this form of radio use will not shrink into the foreseeable future, it can be concluded that radios themselves will not become obsolete.
As the above evidence makes clear, radios will continue to hold a steady share of the global media market. It is assumed that this will hold true in the years to come. What are the advantages and disadvantages of maternity leave? Which side do you feel outweighs the other? Laws and social practices surrounding maternity leave vary widely from one country to another. Equally varied are the positions people take on whether maternity leave brings with it more advantages or disadvantages.
A conclusion will be reached following this essays discussion of these two positions.
On the one hand, the benefits young families receive from paid work leave are evident. For one, it gives new mothers a chance to properly prepare for the birth of their child and recuperate afterward. Not having to shoulder the financial burdens that come with taking unpaid leave, mothers can focus entirely on providing a healthy home environment for their new baby.
Thus, the advantages that come from maternity leave are obvious.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions (2013 – 2018) & Model Answers
However, paid maternity leave can also cause some hesitation towards the hiring of women, particularly among high-pressure corporate positions.
For example, often companies in Shanghai will ask job seeking women whether they are married or not. By hiring unmarried women, these firms hope to circumvent the need to provide parental leave should one of their married employees decide to start a family. As these sorts of practices are not isolated to only Shanghai, it is clear that maternity programs have the disadvantage of indirectly encouraging sexism. Following this look, it is difficult to say the disadvantages of maternity leave outweigh the advantages.
Thus, programs that offer new mothers paid work leave are thought to provide more benefits than drawbacks. It is hoped that parental leave programs will continue to develop and improve into the foreseeable future. Some believe that students who fear their teachers excel academically. Others believe students work better when they have a friendly relationship with their teacher.
Discuss these views and provide your opinion. Education styles vary from one place to another. Among some circles, it is felt that students who hold a modest level of trepidation for their teachers excel in their studies to a greater degree than students who consider their teacher a friend. Both sides of this argument will be analyzed before a conclusion is reached.
On the one hand, many contend that better academic results are attained by teachers who instill a degree of fear in their students. High school instructors in Shanghai, for example, have an extremely rigid teaching style that involves disciplining students for every mistake they make, no matter how small. Although this system may seem callous, it gets results, as Shanghais high school students placed top in the world last year for an international standardized aptitude test. As this shows, students who are afraid of their teachers excel in their studies.
On the other hand, many people contest the above and argue that students who share friendly relationships with teachers work better. For instance, the American education system typically allows students to experience a much more intimate relationship with their teachers and many argue this helps implant young people with inspiration. As the US is the most innovative country in the world today, there may be some merit to this argument.
Thus, it is understandable why many feel students learn to work better under this educational arrangement.
Following this debate, it is felt that a teacher should be approachable, yet a person who induces a healthy sense of fear and respect in their students. It is hoped this balance will be present in the teachers of the future.
Public transportation could be made free of charge. Are there more advantages or disadvantages to this change? Most large cities today boast numerous public transit options, available to residents for a fee. Whether providing these options free of charge is a positive thing is often a highly debated topic. It is felt making public transportation available free of charge ramifies more advantages than disadvantages.
This will be proven by looking at how a free public transportation system encourages more environmentally friendly living and provides accessibility to low-income individuals. For one, encouraging people to use public transportation through fare elimination has many benefits to the environment. For example, as more people use a citys public transit system, the congestion that city experiences on the road is greatly reduced.
Having fewer vehicles on the road in turn reduces a citys overall carbon footprint immensely. Thus, the benefit to removing public transportation fares can be seen. In addition to this, allowing people to use a citys transportation services without charge can be exceptionally helpful to low-income residents. For instance, any city that employs this change would empower its people with the ability to live and work in entirely different parts of a city, regardless of their economical situation.
This would thus heighten a low-income earners chances of gaining financial ground. As this example shows, privileging a citys people with free transit service boasts more benefits than drawbacks. After analyzing the above, it is clear that removing the fare charged to public transit passengers has more pros than cons. It is hoped this alternative is considered as a future growth option for emerging cities.
Economic growth has helped to improve standards of living all over the world. However, some research shows that people in developing countries are happier with this trend than people in developed countries. Explain why you think this is. Developments in the global economy mean different things to different people. To some, recent growth may be coupled with a rise in standards of living, and thus seen as positive.
To others, this growth brings with it increased global competitiveness, and is thus seen as negative. These particular opinions are thought to reflect the results of recent research indicating more satisfaction with global growth among the developing world than the developed world. Both sides will be analyzed in this essay.
It is easy to understand why global economic growth is welcomed among developing countries. In China, for example, young people today have vastly more developed lifestyles than their parents or grandparents.
Today many Chinese people consume luxury goods, an ability not possible 30 years ago. From this example, it is easy to understand why people in developing countries see current global economic growth as a reason to be happy.
However, the economic rise of developing countries makes for more competition among developed countries. For example, microprocessor design, a field once dominated by countries with highly developed education systems, is now an area developing countries are making serious inroads into.
Because of this, the once technical giants of the developed world are now seeing their market share decline.
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This example makes it clear why developed countries are not entirely happy about the economical growth of developing countries. It is felt the above reasons explain why research results indicate the opinions of developed and developing countries contrast. These viewpoints are not expected to change much into the foreseeable future.
Some people believe advertising causes more harm than good to society. Others refute this.
Discuss both views and share your opinion. One of the main stimulants of consumerism within a country is advertising. As such, advertising can be seen as a necessary practice within any healthy economy. But often people counter this by saying that too much exposure to commercial promotions can cause societal problems. On the one hand, advertising stimulates healthy spending, which can grow economies and create jobs. Take Coca-Cola, for example. Coca-Cola is a company that spends massive amounts on marketing every year.
Because of this, it has become a brand that is recognized in the most remote corners of the earth. This level of recognition allows even the smallest of vendors anywhere in the world to create wealth through providing an attractive product with a powerful brand to potential customers. Thus, it is understandable why many people believe the benefits of advertising outweigh the drawbacks. On the other hand, it is purported by many that advertising has negative ramifications on societies.
For example, at Christmas time, American children are often the target of very elaborate marketing schemes hatched by large companies looking for holiday sales. As these sorts of campaigns can induce children to become overly concerned with commercial matters, many people worry this may interrupt their development as moral people. When seen in this light, it is clear why many people feel there are more drawbacks than benefits to advertising.
Following this look at both sides of the above debate, it is felt that advertising is much more positive than negative in nature. It is thus expected that the role of marketing within modern economies will not change much into the foreseeable future. Some people focus on national news, while others think it is more important to be aware of international news.
Discuss both views and offer your opinion. Most would argue a basic understanding of events at both a national and international level is important. Whether one is more important than the other, however, is difficult to say. Both opinions will be analyzed in this essay before a reasoned conclusion is drawn.
On the one hand, many people believe their nations interior issues should take reporting precedence over exterior ones. For example, elderly people in Canada, who tend to travel less than their younger counterparts, often focus on local news issues. The reason for this is that these domestic stories apply more directly to day-to-day life in Canada, and this is an area of news Canadas elderly people are interested in.
As this example shows, it is understandable why some people focus their attention more on national news reports than international ones. However, on the other hand, others feel thoroughly understanding international events is more important than focusing on local news.
People who typically share this point of view usually defend it by arguing that as cultures, economies and borders blur, a proper understanding of the world is necessary to retain competitiveness. Young people, such as university students, act as good examples here as their lifestyles employ more foreign travel and thus require a working knowledge of developments on the global stage.
Thus, it is understandable why this point of view has garnered support. After analyzing all sides of the above debate, it is argued that being equally versed in both national and international news is important.
Thus, it is considered impossible to state that one of these reporting types is better than the other. Todays food travels thousands of miles before it reaches customers. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative trend? In todays world, the laws of supply and demand dictate the distances foodstuffs must travel before they are consumed. Often certain geographical areas are favourable for the production of particular foods. It is argued that the extreme distances some foods travel before reaching their consumers reflect positive trends occurring around the world.
This will be shown by looking at the cultural and economic benefits that derive from international trade in edible goods. For one, the trading of food between countries can be seen as evidence of cultural amalgamation, and this is a positive thing.
For example, Japanese sushi, once considered an oddity among American circles, is now consumed as regularly in the United States as many American dishes.
It is felt culinary exchanges such as this are evidence of the worlds ongoing growth towards a united culture. As the blurring of cultural differences can bring with it understanding, tolerance and peace, it is felt this example shows how the trading of foods over great distances can be seen as a positive thing. In addition to this, the buying and selling of food among nations provides employment opportunities to workers around the world.
For instance, global demand for coffee has allowed Columbia to exercise a geographical advantage it has in the production of this product. Because coffee can be shipped great distances without spoiling, this example acts as evidence of the benefits that derive from the transporting of foods to other countries.
Thus, the positive results that come from foodstuffs traversing thousands of miles before consumption can be seen. After analyzing how food permitted to travel around the world helps to create cultural understanding and stimulate economies, it has been proven that this brings with it more benefits than drawbacks. It is hoped the international foodstuffs trade continues to grow in an unshrinking manner.
Recently a poll was conducted that revealed happiness levels in developing countries are higher than in developed countries. What do you think can be learned from this? Explain your views. Most would agree that the word happiness relates to the level of contentment and fulfillment an individual experiences in their life.
It is proposed that the recent poll revealing higher percentages of happy people among developing countries allows for the establishment of conclusions on the social structure and culture of individualism seen in developed countries. The legitimacy of these conclusions will be shown in this essay. Firstly, the rigidness with which a developed countrys social structure operates can be seen as one of the causes of lowered happiness levels.
For example, model students in the United States cannot simply have high grades but rather must strive to perfect themselves physically and morally as well. All too often, the stress of trying to fill this publicly accepted ideal lasts a lifetime. This example leads to the conclusion that the additional societal pressure experienced by people in developed countries reduces levels of happiness. Secondly, developed countries tend to emphasize individualism and this can also lead to unhappiness.
For instance, young people in China often have a very close-knit family unit that can provide them moral support and advice throughout their lives.
This sort of arrangement is not uncommon among developing countries, too. Developed countries, on the other hand, tend to encourage people to make their own decisions and to live with the consequences, which can often make people feel overloaded with burden.
As this example shows, additional freedom can actually work against a persons level of happiness. The results of the poll in question is felt to reflect the additional stresses people experience in developed countries. It is felt these same pressures will progressively become apparent in developing countries as they grow. Once children start school, teachers have more influence than parents on their intellectual and social development.
To what extent do you agree or disagree? The beliefs and values of young people are shaped through a myriad of influences. Among the most major of these are a childs parents and teachers. However, it is argued that ultimately teachers have more influence than parents on the intellectual and social development of children. This will be proven by looking at how students are more attentive when interacting with teachers and how teachers engage students in an environment more conducive to emulation and learning.
Firstly, teachers have the opportunity to interact with their students during periods of the day when young people are more attentive. To illustrate, an American study once proved that human beings more readily commit new skills and ideas to memory in the morning as opposed to the afternoon or evening.
As teachers spend five mornings a week with young people, this example makes it clear that they have an advantage over parents when it comes to developing a young persons mind. Thus, it is clear that teachers affect the intellectual and social growth of a child in a manner that the childs parents cannot match. In addition to this, the classroom environment is a powerful place that puts a child in a frame of mind that encourages learning.
For example, it has been proven that students who are home schooled tend to have more difficultly than classroom-taught students in absorbing the information their instructor presents to them.
It is argued that this disparity exists because a classroom surrounds students with an environment of academia, and this promotes the acquisition of knowledge.
As this sort of environment is not always present in a childs home, it is clear that teachers are in many ways more influential than parents in expanding a childs mind. After looking at the above, it can be seen that instructors have advantages over parents when it comes to forming the minds of children. It is thus expected that the traditional classroom style of learning will not be drastically altered in the foreseeable future.
The rate of unemployment in some countries is high. Because of this, there is no need to complete an education beyond a primary school level. Write an essay either for or against this position.
Many would agree that learning and the pursuit of knowledge should be continued throughout ones life. Hence, the idea that educations only merit is the fact it can help a person attain employment is considered ludicrous. Thus, it is argued that education past a primary school level is needed whether unemployment in a persons country is high or not.
This will be proven by looking at how education for educations sake leads to both individual opportunities and discoveries that benefit humanity as a whole. To start, people who commit themselves to education regardless of work conditions in their country catalyze events that can lead them to professional and personal opportunities down the road.
For example, during the Great Depression the United States experienced extremely high levels of unemployment for several years. Despite this, people remained committed to the powers of education and thus when the cycle of unemployment finished they were able to engage in skilled labour.
These opportunities would not have been possible for these people without education. As this shows, snubbing academia when faced with high unemployment is a faulty strategy to follow. In addition to this, the merits of education are not simply tied to a person professionally, as the pursuit of intellectual development can lead to inventions that benefit all humanity.
For example, Steve Jobs released the iPhone after he turned 50 and this revolutionary product only came as a result of his lifelong learning. As this example shows, education can produce much more than basic employment options. Thus, people should take on the challenge of education regardless of the working situation in their country. After looking at this subject, it is obvious that education brings more to people than simply professional chances and thus should be embraced in all business climates.
It is hoped future generations choose a path of lifelong learning. A countrys future depends on its young people. Therefore, a country should invest heavily in its youth. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? The youth of a nation play a critical role in a countrys future. Thus, the manner in which young people are raised is intrinsically tied to the capabilities of new generations of workers. It is agreed that a country should invest considerably in its youth.
This will be shown by analyzing how such a practice can lead a nation to international competitiveness and how it can lead people to more charitable lives. Firstly, a states ability to compete in the modern world is only as strong as its citizens minds. Take the Japanese education system as an example. Despite the crippling effects of the Second World War, Japans focus on education and the nurturing of academia played a part in leading the country to become the second largest economy in the world.
This would never have been possible had the country not invested in and embraced the education of its young people. Thus, it is clear that a countrys commitment to its young people has direct ramifications on its future.
Secondly, people who grow up with the gift of a proper education can do more to help the needy in their country. For instance, Germany is a state that produces large numbers of highly capable medical practitioners, and this allows all German citizens to receive quality medical attention. Were Germany as a nation to cease investment in young people seeking a medical education, this service to the public could not be provided as effectively. Because of this, its clear that positive results come to nations that invest in their youth.
After analyzing how a countrys focus on its young people can lead to economical strength and domestic social benefits, the link between investment in youth and a nations future can clearly be seen.
It is hoped the committing of national resources to youths is a practice employed around the world. Most children spend a lot of time watching television and playing computer games.
Should parents limit the time their children spend on such activities? Most would agree that modern lifestyles involve a barrage of electronic distractions. Unfortunately, children engage these electronic pass-times for extended periods and this can lead to negative outcomes.
Thus, it is argued parents should control the quantity of time children commit to idle endeavors, such as television, computer games and the Internet. This will be proven by looking at how engaging these sorts of hobbies for long periods of time can negatively affect a childs studies and health. Firstly, children who idle away time in front of electronic toys tend to develop poor study habits. For example, a recent study in Canada revealed a negative correlation between the daily number of hours a high school student spends in front of the television and their marks in school.
As this example shows, there is a clear and very obvious relationship between television exposure and academic performance. Thus, it is obvious that parents are best to restrict the amount of time children plug in to these sorts of mediums.
In addition to this, a childs health can be negatively affected via overexposure to electronic device usage. Take childhood physical development as an example. As most would agree, a childs physical development depends directly on their receiving a certain amount of exercise on a daily basis. This amount of exercise simply is not possible if this young person logs several hours in front of a computer every day. As this example shows, a parents control of a childs media intake is required for the childs well-being.
After analyzing the negative ramifications too must exposure to electronic mediums can have on young people, it has been proven that proper parental guidance must include efforts to ration a childs television, computer and Internet exposure. It is hoped this essay helps persuade parents to more involved forms of parenting. In many countries, young children are looked after during the day while their parents go to work.
In a sense, they are raised by guardians and not their biological parents. What is your opinion of this family arrangement? Customs regarding the raising of children vary from on culture to another. In many countries, children are cared for by daytime guardians while their parents work to build careers.
It is argued that this form of rearing does not benefit children as much as when they are raised directly by their biological parents. This will be proven by looking at how such a family arrangement causes misguided values and feelings of abandonment among the young people in question. Firstly, parents who choose their professional goals over raising their children run the risk of setting poor examples for their offspring. For instance, children of double-income families are often indirectly taught that money is more important than family unity.
These children grow up with unhealthy opinions about the significance of income level and could potentially become adults who judge other human beings based on monetary status.
As this reasoning shows, children are best raised by their parents. Secondly, young children regularly separated from their parents may experience feelings of abandonment and this can lead to other problems. For example, it is a proven fact that Canadian children of single, working parents tend not to perform as well in school as their classmates from nuclear familial arrangements boasting a stay-at-home mother or father.
This example shows that there is a clear link between a childs academic performance and the level of attention they receive from their parents. Thus, it is clear that young people are not benefited when they are raised by guardians. After analyzing the above points, the merits of regular parental presence can be seen. It has thus been proven that parents should avoid working patterns that are detrimental to the development of their children. It is hoped parents everywhere commit to do what they can to ensure they are the primary guidance-providers of their young ones.
Some people believe that advertisements targeting children may have negative effects on them, and suggest banning such advertisements as a solution. Advertising is a central component to the free market. As the catalyst for sales, it is not surprising that all divisions of a society are targeted, including the very young. However, it is argued that advertising aimed at children can have negative effects on them and should thus be banned.
This will be proven by looking at how a childs diet and attention span are altered when they are exposed to certain forms of promotion. Firstly, it is quite evident that a childs dietary preferences can be affected negatively by advertisements.
For example, McDonalds television commercials in the United States often depict young children having larger than life experiences in their restaurants. Relenting to their childrens nagging, parents can unfortunately allow the diet of their young ones to include fast food on a regular basis, thus leading to obesity.
Today, the US has the highest rate of childhood obesity in the world and this indicates the negative ramifications targeted advertising can have on children. In addition to this, advertising can shorten a childs attention span and create excessive feelings of want. Take toy commercials, for example. Children are barraged on a daily basis with commercials advertising a wide variety of toys.
If children are actually given these toys, they often are quick to stop playing with them and desire something new. This shortening of a childs attention span can be seen as yet another reason why child-directed advertising lacks merit. After looking at the above points, it is clear that promotional strategies focusing on the very young should be prohibited on the basis that they can lead to developmental problems in children.
It is hoped parents everywhere monitor their childrens exposure to such mediums. Some people believe that schools should group their pupils according to academic ability.
Others believe students should be grouped together regardless of academic ability. Write an essay supporting one side of this debate.
The classmates a student interacts with on a day-to-day basis make up an important part of their academic experience. Many believe that a pupils learning is enhanced when students of varying academic skill surround them. However, it is argued that a student benefits most through regular interaction with students of similar intellectual potential. This will be shown by looking at how such an arrangement both poses healthy challenges to students and refrains from holding students back in their academic pursuits.
Firstly, by grouping students based intellectual strength, a classroom can provide an environment that engages young people at a level equal to their ability.
Take language learning as an example. If a highly skilled language student is placed in the same classroom as a beginner, the class atmosphere is beneficial to neither. Further, it would be impossible for the teacher of this class to provide challenging material that caters to both student levels.
Thus, the merits of classroom groupings based on skill level can be seen. Secondly, intellectually superior students placed with less capable students may be held back in their studies. For example, Canadian public school systems do not categorize students based on their strengths, instead favouring to amalgamate all pupils into one collective class.
Under such an arrangement it unfortunately becomes all too common for gifted students to be held back in their studies as their classmates struggle to understand basic concepts.
As this example shows, arranging students by intelligence should be supported. Following this look at class structure, it is felt education systems that discriminate between strong and weak students are beneficial to pupils as a whole. It is hoped these sorts of classroom arrangements return to popularity in the years to come. Most people watch foreign films before locally produced films.
Why is this so? Would you support a government decision to invest in films in your country? Task Response 2. Coherence and Cohesion 3. Lexical Resource 4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy. Many test takers are unsure what is wrong with their essay, why they keep scoring Band 6. Is that how you feel, too?
Keep reading then, because we are just about to analyse a Band 6. Hold mouse over highlighted words or tap on mobile to see the comments, suggestions and corrections. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Task Response Analysis: This essay follows the task requirements quite well. The opinion is clear. The paragraph on money is not very well developed and not entirely clear. Approximate score for Task Response: Band 7.
Coherence and Cohesion Analysis: Coherence is concerned with the effectiveness of what the essay is trying to communicate.
The essay is well structured — each paragraph announces its topic clearly [TS] and the introduction announces the opinion of the writer. Sometimes the ideas are not entirely clear inside the paragraphs see NC. Also the writer has a tendency to be repetitive. Approximate score for Coherence and Cohesion: Lexical Resource Analysis: The use of vocabulary seems quite reasonable but attempts to use a wider range are not always successful see corrections above. Probably not quite good enough for a 7.
Approximate score for Lexical Resource: Band 6 or 6. Certainly, money is an important part in our lives. It is hard for any persons to accept a partner which does not have money or at least a job to take care of future family. However, love should be the root of any marriages. Firstly, it is because love is such a glue to connect two persons which have their own lives, become one.
Moreover, love makes people growing up because they do not only have responsibility to themselves, but also to their partners as well. That is why marrying with love is always encouraged. In my opinion, I think that both love and money is both necessary. Marriage relying on money would be rapidly disintegrated when unfortunately the money is run out. In contrary , marriage relying on love would sometimes come to end when they could not earn money to carry out family , such as paying bills, buying food, etc.
Therefore, love and money should stand together in marriage even though their contribution could be unbalanced. As we have seen, marriage without either money or love would come to an unhappy ending. So I believe that they both have their own contribution to a merry family. Grammatical Range and Accuracy Analysis: Although the essay is quite easy to follow, it has too many grammatical errors in too many sentences to merit a 7 score see corrections highlighted above.
The range of grammatical constructions used seems quite good. Approximate score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: The same essay now at around a Band 7 level might look something like this. Read it carefully and compare it with the original:. Certainly, money plays an important part in our lives.
It is hard for any persons to accept a partner who does not have money or at least a job to take care of their future family. However, love should be the root of any marriage. Firstly, it is because love is such a strong bond between two persons who have their own lives, and become one.
Moreover, love makes people grow up because they do not only have responsibility to themselves, but also to their partners as well. That is why marrying for love is always encouraged. In my opinion, I think that love and money are both necessary. A marriage relying on money would rapidly disintegrate when unfortunately the money ran out.
In contrary, a marriage relying on love would sometimes come to end when they could not earn money to carry out family duties such as paying bills, buying food, etc. As we have seen, marriage without either money or love would come to an unhappy end. So I believe that they both make their own contribution to a merry family. To turn the Band 7 sample essay into a Band 8 one would require further improvement in range and accuracy of grammar, greater clarity and better connection of ideas, and a wider range of appropriate, higher level vocabulary.
So the same sample essay now at around a Band 8 level might look something like this. Once again, read it carefully and compare it with the original:. Clearly, love should be the foundation of any marriage. This is because firstly, love is such a strong bond between two persons, who have their own lives, yet become one. Moreover, love fosters maturity because each member of a couple no longer has responsibility only for themselves, but also for their partner.
These are just two, key reasons why marrying for love should always be encouraged. In my opinion, love and money are equally necessary. A marriage relying solely on money might rapidly disintegrate in the unfortunate event of the money running out.
Therefore, love and money should stand together in marriage, even though their contribution might often be somewhat unequal. To summarise, marriage without either money or love could come to an unfortunate end. For that reason, I would claim that they both make their own, vital contribution to the creation of a happy family.
We have a book that can help to improve your grammar and sentence formation, teach you how to connect your ideas better and give you a wide range of appropriate, higher level vocabulary.
Get a self study book, for Academic click here , for General here. Great job you are doing, Admin! Thank you for providing such a website for us to improve our English level! I hope one day I can work out excellent essays banded 8.Others refute this. This will be proven by looking at a Canadian case study of this phenomenon in action as well as the universal correlation that exists between youth social problems and neglectful parents.
It not only improves stamina of body but also make one mentally strong. Again omitting an opinion or getting diverted midway through writing or not giving profound reasons for your opinion will get you equally penalized 2. What are the reasons and how to encourage them to spend their time.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.